Monday, October 21, 2002

*scoots in for a quick Blog*

Pants for breath.. OK here I am, miss me? Well I'm back, but not for long, though I've lost all my nails so Blogging speed is back to normal! What have I done, what have I done... spoiled all, sorry random Jack induced by watching Nightmare Before Christmas this weekend. I had to! I decided I wanted pumpkin soup, so I couldn't not carve the pumpkin afterwards.... well you know how it is. Samhain is my favourite time of the year, I love it and get excited over it the same way some people do over Christmas.

I have no idea where the week has gone, but my neck is finally healing, even the bites down my shoulders are nearly all gone now so I'm feeling a bit less conspicuous in seminars. speaking of which I'm going to slap my Modernism tutor, he's getting on my nerves, we're doing Dorian Gray tomorrow and he'd better be nice or I'm going to freak out on him. I've lost the week, I didn't stop the whole time and am getting sick of people telling me I don't do any work because really I do, I barely stop working, except on Friday night and saturday night and sometimes Sundays. This is because I tend to have rather medicated weekends. *slaps self in forehead* KNEW there was something else I had to get in town this morning - Mr Nygma finished my cough syrup on saturday night, grrrr! He was laying on the floor sucking the bottle clean whilst utterly mashed, it was actually quite kinky, in a disturbing sort of way. I should be stopping taking the stuff really as I'm sure it's the chloroform doing my stomach in, but what the hell, I can't get laudanum so I'll make do with choloroform and codeine, similar effects and much cheaper. Was annoyed to find that by the time I came round later on saturday night Techie Polidori had left. Sulking now...

Cooked a roast on sunday - pumpkin soup to start, full roast dinner (I had nut roast which was actually really nice, well texture wise anyway, my sense of taste has become to all practical purposes non-existent) and chocolate dessert to follow, for them anyway. Really not eating chocolate dessert with the fact it's chocolate and eggs and cream. Seemed to go down well. Big fur-pile on the sofa afterwards and much anime. Jellicle is lovely to cuddle, but then again so is Mr Nygma which is surprising considering the size of him. I think we upset Sir Whinealot as he was on the other sofa feeling all left out, but what the hell, I had a good time at least.

I need to sleep. OK yes I have slept but I'm lucky to get two hours a night recently and those two hours tend to be full of disturbing, symbolic dreams that bug me all day. Must start keeping a dream diary as ninety percent of them seem to be not only symbolic but prescient. But in any case, I'm damned tired, and people keep telling me how pale I look recently which I can't explain, I've been making a real effort to enjoy the sun. I shouldn't be blogging, I should be doing my reading and writing up my notes and perhaps getting some dinner on for the boys but it's so not my turn that it's just not even funny, still at least Jellicle did the washing up yesterday which I was glad of because the state of the kitchen made me whimper and crawl away to cuddle someone.

Why is there no word for something in the style of Shelley? There's Byronic, Keatisian, Miltonian, Godwinian, and at a push Wordsworthian, but why not Shelleyan or some such term? OK because it sounds stupid is the short answer, but we need a word. Otherwise I'm sticking with How Very Shelley. Which reminds me, I promised I'd give Lil' Byron craft and meditation lessons which I should probably begin tonight, not sure I have the energy, I have been wearing myself a little thin lately though unfortunately not in the litteral sense. Mam'selle is worried about me for some reason, possibly the fact I tend to just have a glass or two of the Old Romantic for breakfast, helps me concentrate. But I am eating.. ask anyone.

Cried all over the Unboxed Helena and Jellicle on Friday night for no apparent reason apart from the fact that I was well into my seventh snakebite and black, and the fact that I don't get to see my Lovely Wife for another few days at least. Though I have worked out that the end of Mam'selle's term of celibacy ends almost exactly when Beth will be here, so I forsee some dreadful sparks. Though perhaps not, Beth is apparently very scary. *sigh* I'm tired, I don't want to do my work, I want to go to sleep. Ohhhhhhh well.

"What have I done, what have I done? Spoiled all... spoiled all. Everything's gone all wrong. What have I done, what have I done? Find a deep cave to hide in, in a million years they'll find me only dust, and a plaque, that reads Here Lies Poor Old Jack! But I never intended all this madness - never! - and nobody really understood (well how could they?) and all I ever wanted was to give them something great, why does nothing ever turn out like it should? Well, what the heck, I went and did my best, and by god I really tasted something swell, and for a moment why, I even touched the sky, and at least I left some stories they could tell, I did!"

And of course, for Friday night -

"And for the first time since I can't remember when, I felt just like my old bony self again!"

Al fin con amore, my dears